🚨 SIGNAL FAILURE AT VICTORIA ● 💀 MAN EATING EGG SANDWICH AT 7AM ● 🧍 SEVERE MANSPREADING REPORTED ● 😭 CRYING BABY. FRONT CARRIAGE. ● 🌧️ WET UMBRELLAS EVERYWHERE ● 📱 LOUD SPEAKERPHONE USER DETECTED ● 🐀 SIGNAL FAILURE AGAIN ● 😤 QUEUE JUMPER. PLATFORM 3. ●

Daily Commute Survival Assessment

COMMUTE CHAOS METER

Rate today's journey in 60 seconds. Delays, smells, manspreading, crying babies, signal failures — we calculate your official chaos score.

Rate My Commute →

Chaos Categories

Chaos Levels

∞

Ways to suffer

The Scale

6 LEVELS OF COMMUTE HELL

From barely inconvenienced to fully broken. Where did today land?

0–20
Smooth Operator
A miracle. Seat available. No smells. Did you dream this?
21–40
Mild Inconvenience
Minor delays, slight crowding. Annoying but survivable.
41–60
Mild Purgatory
The commute is working against you. Personal space is a memory.
61–75
Organised Chaos
Multiple incidents. You are clinging on. Heroic, honestly.
76–90
Full Dante's Inferno
Something went very wrong. You have our deepest sympathies.
91–100
Absolute Carnage
A historic event. Future commuters will speak of this day.

Sample Result

84%

FULL DANTE'S INFERNO

Signal failure, mystery smell, no seats, someone eating a hot pasty, and a 23-minute delay. You didn't just commute today — you endured.

🔥 Signal Failure 😷 Mystery Smell 🧍 No Seats 🥐 Hot Food Crime ⏱️ 23min Delay

What We Measure

12 CATEGORIES OF COMMUTE PAIN

⏱️

Delays

How late were you? Every minute counts.

😷

Mystery Smells

Unidentified odours in an enclosed space.

🧍

Manspreading

One person. Three seats. The audacity.

😭

Crying Baby

Loud, persistent, unavoidable.

📱

Loud Phone

Speakerphone or full-volume videos.

🌡️

Temperature

Sauna or freezer. Never just right.

🥐

Hot Food

Eating pungent food on public transport. A war crime.

👜

Bag Invaders

Bags on seats. Backpacks in faces.

🌧️

Weather Factor

Wet coats, dripping umbrellas, general dampness.

😤

Queue Jumping

People who don't wait their turn. Society is collapsing.

🚨

Signal Failure

The two words that break the human spirit.

💬

Unwanted Chat

When strangers won't let you be. You have headphones in.